Genealogy testing: Prepare for the emotional reaction

The supply of dwelling family tree testing has made exploring family tree in style and straightforward to do. This has led to many attention-grabbing tales of individuals assembly lengthy misplaced kinfolk, studying that their heritage is just not what they thought, and even discovering that they don’t seem to be genetically associated to individuals they thought have been blood kinfolk.

Whereas a lot has been written about privateness issues associated to DNA family tree testing and the way that info is shared, it appears there’s little consideration paid to making ready individuals for the feelings they could expertise in response to what they could uncover. This preparation consists of contemplating what individuals’s expectations are for the testing, and the way greatest to deal with stunning outcomes (“good” or “dangerous”).

Family tree testing and household connections

Discovering “new” relations via DNA family tree testing can set off a variety of feelings, together with happiness, anxiousness, disappointment, and even anger. In actual fact, the emotional expertise could also be so intense that many family tree websites state they don’t seem to be accountable for any “emotional misery” that will outcome from utilizing the service.

In case you are contemplating shopper  family tree testing, think twice about your motivation to your search. What do you hope to be taught? What are you interested in? What’s going to you do when you obtain sudden outcomes (for instance, your DNA means that your roots aren’t in Eire as you thought, or that it’s unlikely that you’re biologically associated to your loved ones)? Do you anticipate making an attempt to attach with kinfolk you by no means knew you had? What’s going to you do when you can’t make these connections? What’s going to you do when you can? How will these new individuals match into your life and the household you’ve at all times recognized?

What occurs if the outcomes are disappointing?

Don’t go family tree testing alone

No matter you hope to be taught, floor your search within the life you might have. Take into account speaking with relations about your curiosity in testing earlier than you make the leap. Share your targets for exploring your loved ones tree, and invite relations to share their ideas as nicely. Present house for relations to precise their worries and fears in addition to curiosity. This dialog provides the chance to discover household historical past in a brand new manner. Be ready for it to additionally elevate info that was beforehand undisclosed or tough to speak about.

Put together for family tree testing outcomes

It will probably take weeks to months to course of the check and get outcomes, so take into consideration how you’ll handle the time ready for the outcomes. Chances are you’ll select to spend the time gathering information about your loved ones. Proceed to mirror on the explanations to your curiosity in your loved ones historical past, and plan forward for a way you’ll view the outcomes. Alone? With household? With associates?

Take time to contemplate whether or not or not you need your outcomes to be shared with others on the family tree web site. Take into consideration whether or not or not you want to be contacted by strangers with whom it’s possible you’ll share some DNA, and whether or not you’ll need to attain out to others.

Proactively make a plan to deal with potential sturdy emotional responses. Plan how a lot time you’ll allocate when you go online to the family tree web site. Ensure you produce other actions scheduled to your day, and don’t ignore different plans you might have made to spend further time on the family tree web site.

Getting (and performing on) the outcomes of family tree testing

When you obtain your outcomes, it’s possible you’ll at first discover the quantity of information you obtain overwhelming. For instance, you would possibly obtain details about your ethnicity, and a whole lot (or hundreds) of individuals with whom you share a major quantity of DNA. Make some extent to are inclined to the feelings you expertise. Are you content? Anxious? Unhappy? Is that this what you anticipated to search out? If it begins to really feel like an excessive amount of to course of, take a break from mining the information. Replace household and associates on how you’re doing, and allow them to know when you want help.

For some individuals, the outcomes of family tree testing immediate them to achieve out to strangers with whom they share DNA. This may occasionally result in a brand new and optimistic connection. This may occasionally additionally result in a connection that’s disappointing. And maybe it might be hardest to deal with no response. Some individuals you try and contact on the positioning won’t write again to you. Take into account what number of occasions you’ll attain out to somebody who doesn’t reply.

Transferring ahead after family tree testing

DNA family tree testing can yield details about your heritage that you simply by no means knew and by no means even thought of. This may be thrilling and may broaden your considering. It will also be disconcerting to study discrepancies between what you thought you knew about your loved ones and what the outcomes from the testing offered. And for some individuals, it might not convey the perception and course that they had hoped for, or could elevate points round household relationships which are exhausting to deal with.

Ultimately, the outcomes of family tree testing don’t change who you’re as an individual. However it might present attention-grabbing details about your loved ones tree and lead to a strong emotional expertise. Be ready with a plan and a help system.

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